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Wednesday, 27 June 2012

Naively expecting!

I have always wanted children and naively presumed that it would be one of those things that just happened when the time was right. I mean that's what we are told from an early age isn't it? Things weren't that easy for me, i had been on the pill injection for several years something that i have since been told should have been discussed or evaluated by my doctor. Anyway, having the injection stopped everything, and when i came off it things did not just return to normal. I was told that it could take up to twelve months for a normal cycle to be resumed.

So i waited and waited and nothing happened, i mean normally it wouldn't be something that i looked forward to but when after 11 months my cycle started to return i was in fact quite chuffed. Cycles did still however fluctuate from 27 to anything up to 42 days. But at least we could start trying for a little baba.

Sparing the details, but we tried and every month there was hope, but hopes would be dashed by either the dreaded tummyache and headaches or by a negative test. I must have spent an absolute fortune, i could have had shares in every pregnancy test brand going!

After fifteen months of trying, i finally plucked up the courage to go and see the doctor. Hoping that it wouldn't be too embarassing i answered his questions(trying not to giggle) and this verdict was to refer me to a specialist for 'infertility investigations'.

I left the doctors feeling a bit numb, What did this mean? What would happen next? I shed a few tears...no quite a bit more than that, i sulked . Looking around i saw for some people getting pregnant was so easy, i would hear stories of people just getting caught. So whilst i waited for that specialists letter to arrive i told no one.

6 comments:

  1. Makes me horribly sad to think of that time when everyone we knew was pregnant and you wanted a baby so badly. Makes me happy to see you with your little men now though xxx

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  2. It took us 18mths, and that was after 'investigations' including the fasting blood tests. The advice was 'let it happen', frustratingly it did. Second time, it happened THAT month and it was TWINS... it's not easy, it's different for everyone (especially all those friends who get pregnant within the month)... but there's always hope.

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  3. I was under I jettison after I had my daughter. And when I stopped it took ages to have a period and then to finally get pregnant. I know how annoying and sad can be doing test after test and nothing. Never mind dissapointed :(

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  4. :-( Must have been really difficult. I find it hard just wanting my 2nd child but not being able to afford it just yet. Watching other people announcing their pregnancies is hard. I know it's no comparison to what you must have been through. xx

    It started with a Squish x

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  5. When I was pregnant I was shocked at how many others Mums I noticed were pregnant too. They were everywhere so it must have been awful for you when you were waiting for it to happen for you too x

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