I have always wanted children and naively presumed that it would be one of those things that just happened when the time was right. I mean that's what we are told from an early age isn't it? Things weren't that easy for me, i had been on the pill injection for several years something that i have since been told should have been discussed or evaluated by my doctor. Anyway, having the injection stopped everything, and when i came off it things did not just return to normal. I was told that it could take up to twelve months for a normal cycle to be resumed.
So i waited and waited and nothing happened, i mean normally it wouldn't be something that i looked forward to but when after 11 months my cycle started to return i was in fact quite chuffed. Cycles did still however fluctuate from 27 to anything up to 42 days. But at least we could start trying for a little baba.
Sparing the details, but we tried and every month there was hope, but hopes would be dashed by either the dreaded tummyache and headaches or by a negative test. I must have spent an absolute fortune, i could have had shares in every pregnancy test brand going!
After fifteen months of trying, i finally plucked up the courage to go and see the doctor. Hoping that it wouldn't be too embarassing i answered his questions(trying not to giggle) and this verdict was to refer me to a specialist for 'infertility investigations'.
I left the doctors feeling a bit numb, What did this mean? What would happen next? I shed a few tears...no quite a bit more than that, i sulked . Looking around i saw for some people getting pregnant was so easy, i would hear stories of people just getting caught. So whilst i waited for that specialists letter to arrive i told no one.